The Stankoniforous Files: track and field

An exchange

Fellow Stankoniforous Files contributor, M0yo hit me up about 30 minutes ago. Here's a rundown of the convo.

M0yo: You know that Usain Bolt just set the world record in the 200 m?
Stank-0: Really?
M: Yeah 19.19. He broke Michael Johnson's old record by .11 seconds. He's on something. Johnson only shaved a few seconds off the 200 when he set the record.
S: Well, he's passed all the drug tests. Bolt is also 6'5" with a long stride. He's basically a wide receiver. My boy (.....) says the same thing that he's on something. Bolt also thinks he can hit 9.40.
M: After about 5 steps he just pulled away from everyone.
S: If you divide his time in half, he ran faster in 100m segments than he did in the 100m. (Author's note: Actually it comes to 9.595 per 100 so he didn't run it faster but that's incredibly close.)
M: Didn't he run a 9.58 in the 100?
S: Yeah.
M: I watched it and Bolt made it look easy.... Also, people are taking drugs that can't be detected right now.
S: True, they keep samples for 6 years so maybe in a few years time if he's on something then it will show up.

That's part of the problem right now in track and field. Anyone that is killing the field (no Pol Pot) immediately becomes suspect. Stank-0 will reserve judgement. Innocent until proven guilty.

Right now Stank-0 will just enjoy the spectacle that is Usain Bolt.

I'm starting to wonder

Is Usain Bolt a legitimate human being? Can we see a birth certificate? DNA test? Somethin! I ask because he ran 9.58 in the 100 m dash, setting a new world record. Of course there's speculation he can run even faster.

I'll keep this short, I, Werdssmith, have a simple question? Is Usain Bolt the most physically gifted athlete in the world? I would say he is easily the most physically gifted athlete since Randy Moss broke onto the scene.

Bolt is a breath of fresh air on the track and field scene. Maurice Greene brought some people to track, but Bolt's extraordinary ability is making people take notice. It's too early to crown him like Carl Lewis was crowned. He has to do long term to get on Carl's level.

If Bolt did sign on with a NFL team, he wouldn't need to run anything but 9 routes. ALL. DAY. LONG.

Mr. Nine and a half seconds

Filed under: track and field by: Stankoniforous 0ne

Norwegian physicists claim that Usain Bolt could have run the 100 in 9.55 seconds if he hadn't slowed down.

This is just speculation is Stank-0's first point. He could have had a faster time, but he said that he already had the WR so he just wanted the gold medal. Which is his right.

Why must people beat him up for not breakin the record any more? He did shave time off the WR in any event, right?

If Bolt was showboating (their words not mine) clownin etc still won and still shaved time off the WR what's the big deal?

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