The Stankoniforous Files

See what gets eyeballs on the Series, is some compelling overarching interest.  That is instant whenever the Yankees are playing.  Love 'em or hate 'em, you'll watch the Series if the Yankees are in it.  Unfortunately the Bronx Bombers of the New House that Steinbrenner (with generous help from NYC tax payers) built aren't there.  That's fine because at least the Phillies...wait they aren't in it either.

Now MLB and FOX have a problem.  The NBA season starts in two days with some reasons to watch.  The NFL is already running Sundays like they own it (check the Nielsen's they do).  So now the MLB (and FOX) are gonna serve up an uninteresting Series with the only two stars people will be halfway interested in watching are pitchers who will be able to pitch at best 3 times in the series, and that's on limited rest.

Unless you're from Texas or SF, you probably don't care about the Series.  That's the problem.  Where this problem becomes real is next Sunday.  The NFL is serving up (in primetime) the Steelers fresh off a controversial win against the Saints who got curb stomped by the Browns.  That is the Series' Game 4.  The only way Stank-0 can see himself watching Game 4 over the Steelers vs Saints is if there's a chance of a sweep. Stank-0 don't even know the NBA schedule but can imagine there will be a smorgasbord of games.

MLB and Commissioner Selig, a word of unsolicited advice.  It used to be called the October classic for a reason.  The NBA and NFL seasons have long established that October is when both kick into high gear.  It would be in your best interest to wrap up the Series in early October.

We know stand on the brink, sports fans.  The Yankees stared down elimination and lived to die another day.  The Rangers' bags were packed but they didn't expect the Yankees to reserve airfare down to the Lone Star State.

The men in pin stripes did what they were supposed to do, send it back to TX.  It's not looking good for the Evil Empire and here's why.  If they manage to force a Game 7 (still very much possible), they will have to contend with a certain Cliff Lee again.  He's been unhittable in the ALCS, and probably earned a phone call from the New York Yankees in the off-season looking to procure his services.  Him shutting down the Yankees has probably pushed his asking price into the stratosphere.

Stank-0 is starting to believe in the Rangers.  They have nothing to lose.  Everyone (including yours truly) believed they were merely a road bump to the Yankees returning to the World Series. 

Is anyone else perplexed that A.J. Burnett got the nod?  What about his body of work this season led anyone to believe that he could handle the pressure of the playoffs? Mr. Burnett, you just might have lost your spot.  The Yankees would have stood a better chance if Ed had gone out on the mound.

Stank-0 is worried but not willing to bet against the Yankees just yet.  All that money can buy a championship, ya'll musta forgot.

[Writer's note: Totally slipped my mind that this was post #500. Where has the time gone?! Hopefully you continue with me for another 500 posts. Enjoy!]

Ed had a post about the same thing and Stank-0 dismissed it out of hand.  Stank-0 is not a fan of MLB, it could be because his team the Royals, haven't been in contention in a long time.  The Royals won the World Series when Stank-0 was a wee lad of 4, in 1985.

So Stank-0 was ready to disregard the MLB playoffs until he saw the virtuoso performance of a one Harry Leroy Halladay.

Halladay threw only the second no-hitter in postseason history, the first since 1956.  The first was thrown by Don Larsen for the New York Yankees. This was also his first time pitching in the postseason and it was a masterpiece.  All his stuff was working to perfection.  Halladay was in a zone. During the 9th inning, Stank-0 could have sworn that Halladay wasn't hearing the crowd at all. Citizen's Bank Park was in a fever pitch as well.

It was a helluva opening act for the MLB postseason and Stank-0 will be there the rest of the way.  It could be the Phillies with their H2O (Halladay, Hamels, Oswalt) against the Yankees bullpen to meet in the World Series, again.

By now, you've heard that Nationals #1 pick from last year, Stephen Strasburg, will start tonight against the Pirates.  That's not important.  What is important is that the hype/buzz has been building since May 31st.

Stank-0 went looking for tix but they were going for a buck days ago.  Nationals Park is sold out and the subway is in disarray as a result.  When Stank-0 got off work, his subway was packed and it was only 5:15!  Then Stank-0 saw the red shirts and knew that it was about Strasburg's start tonight.

ESPN Baseball Tonight is doing a special at Nationals Park right now.  Tony Gwynn, Hall of Famer, is effusing about Strasburg.

Stank-0 is a lil worried about Strasburg. Will he live up to the hype/buzz? Will he be overcome by it?  DC, you may have a new sports king, until John Wall gets drafted (hint, hint).

It is with great reluctance that Stank-0 learned this but Ken Griffey Jr has retired from the game of baseball. 

Stank-0 remembers when Junior was the biggest name and draw in baseball.  It feels kinda sad to be talkin about Junior walkin away from the game.  Junior still has the sweetest swing in the history of baseball. Junior's swing=Shuttlesworth's jumper. FACT.

Stank-0 will always remember the ease Junior played the game in the 90s.  He was baseball.  We were talkin about him assaulting the homer run total.  Alas, injuries took many years of his prime from him. 

Junior's time was up after the 1994 strike in retrospect, after they started playing again, we were enamored with the stratospheric homers of McGwire and Sosa and Junior receded into the background.  We were wrong to dismiss him because Junior never messed with his body, he simply gave his body to the game.  And we love him for it.

 Ken Griffey Jr, to many your name will still be mentioned with the immortals of this game.  You got to play a kid's game but we got to watch and for that Stank-0 considers us more lucky. 

It was the last tune up before the season starts and the Nationals are not ready. Stank-0 was late getting to the game and the Nats had already given up two homers.

It would have been better if the Nats had played some team closer in talent.  They couldn't have learned too much because they got smashed from the bounce.

No offense to speak of.  Literally none.

For some odd reason they kept Strasburg away.  Stank-0 doubts an exhibition will be counted for statistical purposes.  Why not put him in the deep end and see how he makes out?   You paid the man at least take his arm out for a spin.

The Nats are turrible but Nationals Park really is a sight to behold.  Views of the Big Penis Washington Monument from the nose bleeds.  Cherry Blossom ring the stadium and of course Uncle Ben's is in the cut.

 Nats' fans, prepare for another loooong season.  The center fielder will be a lone bright spot, though.  He has some significant range. 

UPDATE!:  Yes, McNabb is a Redskin, but the only NFL post Stank-0 will do at this point is concerning the draft.  It's beyond waaay too early to be talking NFL moves.  Thankfully, he wasn't exiled to Oakland.  

Nothing much is done on either day as far as work is concerned. The Super Bowl is about pagentry and the Dance is about economy; how many nail-biting, sitting-on-the-edge-of-your-seat games can you watch in the first day?  Is CBS smart enough to switch you to the most exciting game right now?  Usually, the answer to the second question is no, they annually drop the ball like Purple Jesus.  It is truly a drug that you can't get enough of.  Stank-0 still remembers, a few years back, faking an illness so he could leave work early to go to his boy's house to watch the tourney on the big screen.  It was a 60 inch HD son, don't judge me.



The second event is the start of baseball.  Stank-0 is not a big fan of the game, but the prospect of catching the Cubs' home opener in Wrigley is on the sports bucket list.  It will happen, please believe.

Even as turrible as the Washington Nationals are, Stank-0 plans to catch a game or two here and see the Rockies at Coors Field in Denver over the summer. Beer, brats, and baseball just go together, knowwhatI'msayin?  It's the wave as it crosses the stadium for the umpteenth time.  It's the slight probability of catching a foul ball or a homer. 

[Editor's note:  Be careful what you wish for.  Stank-0 saw a fan take a foul to the shoulder blade at Nationals Park near the 3rd base line.  Didn't realize the ball could travel that fast.  Everyone standing up certainly doesn't help either.  Word of advice, you sit close bring a glove.]

The list of baseball stadiums Stank-0 has been in is too small, that can't stand.  Will hopefully add Coors Field to the very short list this summer. 

Not to be overly sarcastic or anything but Mark McGwire's admission about using steriods?  Obvious.  There are several theories why Big Mac decided to get honest now. 

1. His chances at the Hall of Fame?  Slim.  His numbers are slightly better than GWB's in 2008.  Mac is at 25% and he needs alot more than that to get in. 
2. Re-entering the public arena with whispers and questions regarding steriods would have been too big a distraction for his team.  This is true.  It would have hounded the Cardinals all season long.

Now my honest opinion of this is simple...courageous does not come to mind.  Sitting on this for 10 years and then decided now was the time because hey you got nothing else to lose does not bring courage to mind.  Let's not get it twisted.  This is America.  The Cardinals make a playoff run and all is forgiven.  He can still get in the Hall but that may have to be as a write-in candidate. 

There are a few current and former ball players who should follow your lead, Mac. 

Stank-0 called the Cy Young for Mr. Greinke months ago.

Greinke is playin some serious baseball right now. He is 6-0 with an ERA under 1 (.40 to be exact). Last year's Cy Young winner, Cliff Lee, also jumped to a 6-0 start. Stank-0 believes in history.

Greinke showed flashes at times.  Young boy came a mighty long way from battling social anxiety disorders to Cy Young.. 

Honestly, who else in the AL would have gotten the nod instead?  Roy Holliday?  *Thinking*  Yeah pretty much it was Greinke. 

CONGRATULATIONS TO 2009 CY YOUNG WINNER ZACK GREINKE!

This will be short.  Stank-0 is late on this but what is really goin on? The woman in the picture definitely does NOT like the new look. 

Sammy, Stank-0 does not know what's goin on in your life but remember that Black Jesus still loves you.

So dear readers, who you got and in how many games. Right here and now, 6 games...NEW YORK YANKEES!

Sure we can hate on the Yankees for outspending everyone in baseball, but that's the system they are operating in.  If they change the rules (unlikely) then things will be different. 

Honestly, for most of America, baseball season is a fill-in until the NFL starts back up.  My NFL season is effectively over so...the World Series was a good distraction from the horror of watching the 2009-2010 Chiefs play football.

In any case, CONGRATULATIONS TO THE 2009 WORLD SERIES CHAMPION YANKEES!  

PS.  Again they ain't even won good and they gettin pimped, pic courtesy of Eastbay.

Finally the Yankees have dispatched the Angels to advance to the World Series to face a well rested Phillies team.  Stank-0 had a feeling they would close out at home.

A-Rod has finally been playing some ball during the PLAYOFFS!  Keep it up and you have can have some hardware that is a bit more blingy than your MVP trophies.  Speaking of which, isn't Rodriguez pretty much a lock to get another MVP?  At some point it will be called the Rodriguez MVP trophy he has so many.

To the Angels, take comfort in the fact that you were punching above your weight and prolly shouldn't have beaten the BoSox like a drum to get this far.

So dear readers, who you got and in how many games.  Right here and now, 6 games...NEW YORK YANKEES!

Phillies got rings, so that hunger isn't there.  Yanks' last ring is about 10 years ago...they been bleeding, sweatin, and dyin to get back here.    

(Fenway Park, Boston)


Dear readers, Stank-0 needs your help.  It's a sports matter of national security utter importance.  Let's give some background. 

Stank-0 is not a fan of obnoxious fans.  Never have been never will be.  When Stank-0's beloved J-Hawks took the title in 2008, Stank-0 was very glad to have them win but didn't go around rubbing it in people's faces unless they were from Missouri or K-State. ZING!.

This brings me to Boston fans. Yes, the entire spectrum of fans in Beantown aka the most northern Southern city in America.  When their troika of teams started to collect titles, a significant portion of their fans became absolutely unbearable (read: @ssholes).  When the Patriots got there three quick titles, the new found confidence was understandable.  When the BoSox broke the curse, the increasing braggadocio was warranted.  The BoSox had been cursed for goodness sake.  We (unofficially) reached the point of no return after the Pats' 3rd title.  They crossed the line when the BoSox won the 2nd title, and they have been habitually line steppin after the Celtics won their last title a few seasons ago. 

Stank-0 chronicles this all for you because Stank-0 worries he may have hate in his heart towards Boston sports fans.  See, Stank-0's roommate (and good friend) is from Beantown.  He loves his Boston teams through and through.  He asked Stank-0 to check on the Angels vs. BoSox game last Sunday, and the BoSox were up.  He seemed relieved.  Stank-0 didn't know the Angels were up 2 games to zero because Stank-0 finds baseball, especially playoff baseball, to be excruciatingly BORING.  It's even slower than regular season baseball, but that's another blog for another day.

When he asked me later for the score, the Angels had rallied to win the game and the series.  Outwardly, Stank-0 sympathized with his roommate's sorrow.  OUTWARDLY.  Inwardly, there was a gleefull smile at the BoSox losing and their chances at another World Series title dashed.  Couple that with the hated Broncos beating the Patriots in Denver, and you had one horrendous Boston sports weekend.

So there's the story.  Is Stank-0 a Boston hater or is this karma for the @ssholery on the part of Boston fans?  The floor is yours.

This is a very specific post to the DC area, bear with me. The Nationals had to wait until the 11th hour to sign their #1 draft pick, Stephen Strasburg. There's plenty of blame to go around.

The Nationals showed some inability to sign the prior #1 pick, who is now working on a deal with the Royals. Stephen Strasburg thought he was in the NFL trying to hold a team hostage. Scott Boras, superagent, tried to finagle $50M out of the Nationals for a college pitcher that's never thrown in the majors.

Now they signed him to a substantial deal, $15.1M. That's worthy of some props. Stephen, that weight you feel is the weight of waiting until the last minute and then getting a pretty big deal that is entirely guaranteed. Stank-0 expects to see you get called up in short order.

There's really not much that Stank-0 expects from the Boras nor the Nationals except the status quo. Strasburg alone won't make the Nationals contender or even that much better next season. Boras still gets his percentage and next year there will be some other athlete that will get gassed up by Boras.

Please excuse this late post. The game yesterday was more an O's away game than an O's home game, and it was in the Yard.

Beckett had a very efficient night, allowing less than 5 hits scattered throughout 7-8 innings.

Because of the jumble of humanity at the Camden St. entrance, Stank-0 missed the 1st inning blast.

Youkilis had a sweet swing that resulted in the other HR.

The O's bullpen needs some work.

The O's left fielder needs to work on some things. He let a very catchable fly ball drop about 3 steps in front of him.

The O's threatened late in the game but that fizzled.

Final 4-0 BoSox.

Post game notes: When did Sox fans become so obnoxious? It was revolting. Thank ye Gods that losing has kept KC fans humble.

The upper deck is pretty cool, but no foul balls come near there.