The Stankoniforous Files

Kerim Okten/European Pressphoto Agency

Honestly, it was only a matter of time. Stank-0 remembers the uproar over the suits during the Beijing Olys.  Stank-0 had extensive discussions about the Cube during the 2008 Olympiad.

The article talks about how the swimming federation is mulling a ban on these new supersuits. 

The ban on polyurethane suits was ratified, as were the guidelines for how much skin the racing suits can cover. When the new rules go into effect, suits will stretch only between the waist and the knees for men and from the shoulders to the knees for women. And yet, there is no firm date for when the reforms will take effect.

Other swimmers feel more strongly about it.

“It’s sort of like the baseball era in steroids,” the American breaststroker Eric Shanteau said. “Some people are like, ‘It’s fine,’ and some people say it’s cheating.”

Stank-0 wonders as does the NYT writer how much of this is sour grapes because the Arena X-Glide has bested the Speedo LZR Racer.

It does bring up an excellent question, does a skin tight, water buoyant, streamlining suit fundamentally change the sport?  Isn't that like all the gear that baseball and football players wear?  On the one hand, swimming is a sport of hundredths of seconds so any little advantage will make a world of difference (sounds like baseball).

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This was inspired by an extensive conversation over at Ed the Sports Fan between Ed and Phil.  It's epic go peep it...and then come back. 

Stank-0 is not a "hater" whatever that means these days, but there are some jawns in sports that Stank-0 has a deep seated desire to "jab in their sleep"[1]  with that said let's get to it. 

1. The love affair the media has with a player and that player can do no wrong.  ie. LeBron James can wear a Yankees cap to an Indians game and it's ok. LeBron can pout after losing the playoffs and cut off all contact with the outside world and it's because he wants to win so much. 

2. Conversely, the hate affair the media has with a player and that player can do no right. ie TO can cry defending his QB for playoff futility and he's derided. 

3.  The homerism of the Patriots, Belichick, Brady, etc.  Suddenly they have become geniuses.  The best run franchise in football, the genius of B & B.  Oh please.  Ask the GMen about how smart they are.  Zing! 

4. Bandwagon fans.  To d**k ride the latest champ is so grade school.  Get a team and stick with them.  When they win it feels so much sweeter. 

5. The Duke-UNC slobfest.  It's a great basketball rivalry, when both teams are good.  When was the last time that was true?  Do we really need to see both games every single year.  There are other rivalries out there, which have the equal or greater amounts of hate, Oklahoma vs. Texas, Missouri vs. Kansas, Ohio State vs. Michigan, Auburn vs. Alabama. 

6. "The SEC is the best conference in college football" meme.  The SEC is good but they have been living off hype for a minute now.  The SEC generally has a Charmin-y soft non-conference schedule.  If you are that nice, go play someone.  Yes, the conference schedule is harsh but that's what you signed up for in playing in the SEC.  If the SEC is truly the best, then make it a clear head and shoulders argument. 

7. The length of a baseball game.  Look, let's be honest here, only die hard baseball purists fans want to sit down and watch a 3 1/2 hour game.  Playoff baseball feels like it takes even longer.  Give batters a time limit to be BSin in the batters box.  Do the same with the pitchers. 

8. NFL overtime rules.  First one to score takes the skill out of OT, because the team that wins the coin flip wins the game 87% of the time.  Doesn't sound like any skill is necessary.  It's not things not bouncing your way either so don't try to sell that bill of goods.  A tip drill interception?  Ok.  A bad center-quarterback exchanged fumbled?  Ok.  A coin flip?  No sir.  That has nothing to do with the players.  That's a zebra flipping a Kennedy half dollar into the air.  Stank-0 loves the NFL but college football got you on this one.  Both teams get a chance to touch the ball. 

9. NBA superstar calls.  It irks Stank-0 to no end to see LeBron and Kobe getting touch fouls consistently through the regular season (and playoffs.)  It just feeds the NBA conspiracy theorists.  If these guys are true superstars, then let them play under normal mortal rules.  Why protect them? 

10. NFL excessive celebration penalty.  Why take away what most people tune into the game for.  You want to see what Ocho Cinco will do after he scores.  The football resuscitation was brilliant.  As was the riverdance.  TO's standing on the star. Twice.  Johnny Morton's worm.  Steve Smith's snow angel.  The TD celebrations are generally the lead-in for highlight shows.  It's what the people want.  Limit the celebrations to 30 seconds and let's call it a day. 

Only 10, maybe there will be a part II.  Thoughts?  Agree?  Disagree?  Other admissions?  Should something not be there? 


[1] Trademarked by Ed the Sports Fan patent pending.  Stank-0 don't bite without giving credit. 

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This isn't exactly the NFL, its Professional Lingerie Football. A new team is opening in Philadelphia. If anyone in Philly catches a game be sure to remember who put you on and send the good people here at Stankoniforous Files a hook up post a vid.

Now on to what you've all been waiting for, the slideshow. Hopefully, this league will expand, maybe even to Denver, huh Stank-0?

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