The Stankoniforous Files

Stank-0 is currently travelling and then will be in training all next week. Unless, Werdsworth, SPS, and M0yo pick up the slack...it might be a light week here.

Before Stank-0 packs it up, the US Open is compelling TV.

David Duval is in striking position of the leaders. Duval been MIA since 1999. Yeah, 10 years. The commentators mentioned some personal problems, and that makes sense. When your life is in turmoil, golf slides down the priority list.

Good luck David Duval.

Also, Tiger is way back in the field like he got lost.

Sammy has recently been outted on the infamous steriods list. I want to touch on something else, but I'll come back to the list itself.

Who of you in the darkest recesses of your mind can say that you did think that Slammin Sammy was totally clean? Honestly, if Ken Griffey Jr. and Albert "the Machine" Pujols' names are on that list, I wouldn't even be surprised at this point. A-Rod, Manny, and Sammy have the steriods cloud hanging over their head.

Now about the list itself. Obviously, there's a leak and it needs to be plugged. These players willingly tested themselves with the belief that it would be kept confidential. ESPN analysts think the leak is in the US government. That presents a whole new set of problems. I doubt MLB would do this to themselves so they can be successfully ruled out.

The question is how do you root out the leak? I have no idea.

ESPN is doing its damndest to distinguish between the punishment that each of them received. Stank-0 cannot see the connection no matter how hard the "legal analysts" try to get me to buy it. ESPN threw out the rationale that the Justice Dept thought that Vick wasn't being forthcoming. Show me some proof that he wasn't helpful and Stank-0 will buy that one. Stallworth killed a human being and Vick killed an animal. You can dress it up all you want but that's the facts.

As much as Stank-0 loves pets (snakes, spiders, fish, dogs, cats, etc.) they will never ever ever EVER EVAR in Stank-0's eye be equal to a human being. You can flame Stank-0 in the comments all you want, Stank-0's opinion ain't changing. Not now, not never.

Vick did Fed time (Ft. Leavenworth is serious business) and Stallworth got 30 days minus 6 days for time served. Again human being and a large number of dogs...animals.

The Mayweather-Marquez bout has been pushed back because Money injured his ribs training, so that bout will be rescheduled most likely in the early to late fall. I think Floyd is training too hard in anticipation of gettin Pacquiao next. Mayweather is defensive and needs to be all the way hunnid for this fight.

The other fight is Pacquiao-Cotto. This will be the better of the two superfights. Pacman and Cotto are very offensive fighters. Cotto doesn't clutch and he's like the 2nd coming of Gatti with more skill. I'll let Sportaphile, another good site, lay out the strategy. Chuck is more up on his boxing grizzy than I am.

This fight is gonna be one of the most exciting things we see all year
because their styles are very suited for each other. Manny is a fast
offensive fighter, Miguel is all-heart and never clenches his opponent.
Team Pacquiao made a VERY smart move by targeting Cotto because:

1. His defense is mediocre. Cotto has been put on his @ss and rocked
PLENTY of times, this plays into Manny's hands.
2. Cotto is relatively slow, he doesn't wow anyone with his hand
speed.

This was inspired by the Brandon Marshall trade demand. Why is that we never hear about the Pittsburgh Steelers in such a situation? They seem to get a player from the draft, give him a reasonable deal, he plays out his deal and they re-up in the offseason. No drama.

What are the model franchises in sports? We know the dysfunctional ones pretty much by heart because they are constantly in the MSM.

In the NFL, the list ends and begins with the Pittsburgh Steelers. The Rooney family are the quintessential football family dynasty. They won Super Bowls in the 70s, drafted Bradshaw and let him lead. Now they found an absolute steal with Roethlisberger in the 2004 draft and have won two Super Bowls in this decade. They keep reloaded at linebacker and keep it moving.

I looked in the NFC, but couldn't find another team. The Indianapolis Colts would be another choice. This offseason is the most turmoil from the Indy camp in a very long time and that's because of some turnover. Colts' players sign a deal and then eventually restructure it to allow them to restructure more deals. When is the last time you heard of a trade demand or a hold out from Peyton, Addai, Wayne, etc?

In the NBA, it would be the San Antonio Spurs. They had the Admiral suffer an injury plagued season and then won the Tim Duncan sweepstakes, which netted them a title soon after he joined the team. Then they found Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili through due diligence and they have a core for another 2-3 seasons with Tim Duncan as the lynchpin. The owner, GM, and coach are all in synch. As much as I hate Bruce Bowen's questionable defense, the organization is how it should be done.

The Utah Jazz would be a candidate for the 2nd team. They have a long time coach, a good owner and GM. That's the recipe for a stable organization. Their franchise players are locked into long term deals. The only issue they have is signing the other players to surround the franchise players.

In the NHL, probably the Detroit Red Wings. They lose players, sign new ones, and keep it moving. You never hear anything about signing problems or trade demands. Mostly because players are willing to sign at a discount for the chance at a title.

Since I'm not that up on NHL, I can't think of a good second team. My gut tells me to go with the Pittsburgh Penguins. They have a stable of players and nary a word about any money troubles.

I couldn't think of a good example for MLB because they don't have to be fiscally responsible. There is no salary cap so players can sign a 10 year, $252M contract. So I had to leave MLB out.

Thoughts? Am I on point or off base?

In other news, this is the Stankoniforous Files 301st post. We been doing it for a minute here. WE plan to keep on doing too.

There were two great games today. Brazil and Egypt was the best of the day. Everyone (even Cairo) thought that Egypt was a mere foil for the beautiful football playing Brasilians, however, the Egyptians brought some moxie and made a game of it. Then a hand ball call unhinged their effort and Kaka made it do what it do. Ball game 4-3.


In the second effort, the US got a bad bad bad call early in the first half against Italy. That was not a red card-worthy call! Yes, the defender was late but that wasn't that severe. Maybe footall players' excessive flopping should have been in the sports hate list. Anyway, the US scored on a penalty kick then it was all Italia. Final score 3-1. The US has this habit of playing a man down. They also ran out of steam late in the 2nd half. The US is not in a good group right now, it's not quite Group of Death-esque but it's not easy.

Since Stank-0 did such a masterful job of the sports hate list, I, Werdsworth, have decided to contribute a few things of my own. I'm gonna push some unconventional ideas, here we go.

1. That MJ is the single greatest basketball player of all time. MJ is great, he was competitive about everything, but MJ was the next in the evolution of the sport. He is the latest in a long line. The lineage goes something like this: Oscar>Elgin>the Logo>Dr. J>Magic & Bird>MJ>Kobe>Lebron>? The MJ phenomenom is a convergence of a lot of things at the same time such as the mainstreaming of the NBA, the lucrative endorsement deals that are now standard, the release date for shoes being on par with the release date for music, allowing NBA players to compete in the Olympics, NBA players purposefully creating an "image", etc. MJ was savvy enough to take advantage of the opportunities before him.

2. That "professional" wrestling does not have an offseason. How hard is that to accomplish? Let the B teamers get some shine while the A-listers heal up. These men (and women) are getting addicted to painkillers with murderous results. The WWE is using them up and spitting them out.

3. That we realize that Barry Sanders would be the clear best back of all time with Emmitt's line, but we never give Tim Brown the same consideration vis-a-vis Jerry Rice. Think about it. Brown played with about 12 different quarterbacks in his career and still managed to have 1000 yard receiving each of those seasons. Imagine if Brown had had at least one clear HOF signal caller for his career?

4. That Barry Bonds has become the poster child for the steriods era. That's a tad unfair since the steriod era stretches at least since the 1970s, if not before. We want to make Bonds the bad guy, but he didn't come along until the end.

5. That the rest of the world (and many in the US) think that the rest of the world has "caught up" to the US in basketball. Let's be very very real about this right here. When the US brings less than stellar teams to international competition they lost. That does not mean any country has caught up, it means the US is sending its B or C team. The elite players, naturally, wanted to rest for the NBA season because that's a ring. For the 2008 Olympics, the US sent Kobe, LeBron, Wade, and Melo, the best wing players in the NBA. Then the two best young point guards CP3 and DWill got to be tutored by JKidd. What happened? The US fast break was disgusting. I'm gonna say this right here and right now. The US has the best wing players in the world and I can't even think of what country is #2 because the gap is that huge.

The US isn't as clearly dominant as it was in 1992, but that doesn't mean the US isn't the undisputed basketball superpower. Got it? Good.

6. The US isn't good at football (soccer). The US is getting steadily better at football (soccer), don't let the last World Cup fool ya. The US was in the Group of Death from time to time the luck of draw comes up snake eyes. US national players are increasingly playing in Europe (where the best football is played) and it's having an effect on their performance.

7. That black athletes have natural physical abilities and white athletes are naturally savvy and smart. Wrong on both counts. This is actually a nature/nurture argument. Some people may have innate physical gifts but to be a professional athlete requires years of hours of practice and training, nothing about that is natural. For an example of a smart black athlete, peep "Kobe doin work." Kobe is a basketball scholar, he processes all this information in seconds and reacts. White athletes also have innate physical gifts as well.

I truly believe that you try to model what you see. If you're seeing certain behavior, you start to believe that you can do that as well.

8. That young basketball players are being forced to do things that young tennis and baseball players and gymnasts are not. NBA has required that before a basketball player may declare for the NBA he must wait a year, basically requiring a year of college. They are thinking of extending that by another year. Yet nothing is said when young tennis players and gymnasts drop out of school to begin training, sometimes as early as 6 years old. A baseball player can be drafted right out of high school, maybe even before. At least the basketball players is a legal adult and able to make a decision for himself.

9. That the NFL does not guarantee contracts. This would eliminate alot of problems if the contracts were guaranteed and not just the signing bonus. Fans, analysts, and the media want to get mad when a player will sit out because they don't like their contract, but these guys have no guarantee of anything. Their contract can be backloaded or outright voided at the discretion of the organization.

10. That golf is the only sport where the fans are required to be quiet. Golfers need to man the f**k up. Fans can even be vocal in gymnastics but we have to be quiet on the gallery before the swing. If a professional golfer can't focus because of the gallery talking, you might want to quit playing.

Well, Stank-0 what do you think? Thoughts? Suggestions? Omissions?

Real Madrid, the New York Yankees of professional football (soccer), have just paid a hefty sum ($131.6M) for Cristiano Ronaldo. He is considered to be the best football player in the world.

He just lost in the UEFA Champions League game. I wonder if he will win again as a member of Real Madrid. Good luck, Ronaldo.

Stank-0, I got you. I'ma also write a Werdsworth addendum to the sports hate list.

I know the season is not over, but with my hopeful finals matchup of Bron Bron v Melo not happening this year I resorted to watching the Food Network, and Spike TV (4th and Long. Well today I came across Leroy Smith.....

To those familiar with the Dave Chappelle show he may be familiar.

Enjoy.

Mr. Smith is his Name

I was watching ESPN and they mentioned how the Florida State men's baseball team scored 37 runs in the playoffs. I remember when the football team could score 37 points.

Maybe Bobby Bowden could take some pointers (read: get better talent) from the baseball coach because the football team is putting up baseball scores and the baseball team is putting up football scores.

While I'm here how about college baseball stop using metal bats! Make the field larger! It's like they are still playing on Little League fields but the players grew up.