Stank-0's definitive sports hate list

Filed under: , by: Stankoniforous 0ne

This was inspired by an extensive conversation over at Ed the Sports Fan between Ed and Phil.  It's epic go peep it...and then come back. 

Stank-0 is not a "hater" whatever that means these days, but there are some jawns in sports that Stank-0 has a deep seated desire to "jab in their sleep"[1]  with that said let's get to it. 

1. The love affair the media has with a player and that player can do no wrong.  ie. LeBron James can wear a Yankees cap to an Indians game and it's ok. LeBron can pout after losing the playoffs and cut off all contact with the outside world and it's because he wants to win so much. 

2. Conversely, the hate affair the media has with a player and that player can do no right. ie TO can cry defending his QB for playoff futility and he's derided. 

3.  The homerism of the Patriots, Belichick, Brady, etc.  Suddenly they have become geniuses.  The best run franchise in football, the genius of B & B.  Oh please.  Ask the GMen about how smart they are.  Zing! 

4. Bandwagon fans.  To d**k ride the latest champ is so grade school.  Get a team and stick with them.  When they win it feels so much sweeter. 

5. The Duke-UNC slobfest.  It's a great basketball rivalry, when both teams are good.  When was the last time that was true?  Do we really need to see both games every single year.  There are other rivalries out there, which have the equal or greater amounts of hate, Oklahoma vs. Texas, Missouri vs. Kansas, Ohio State vs. Michigan, Auburn vs. Alabama. 

6. "The SEC is the best conference in college football" meme.  The SEC is good but they have been living off hype for a minute now.  The SEC generally has a Charmin-y soft non-conference schedule.  If you are that nice, go play someone.  Yes, the conference schedule is harsh but that's what you signed up for in playing in the SEC.  If the SEC is truly the best, then make it a clear head and shoulders argument. 

7. The length of a baseball game.  Look, let's be honest here, only die hard baseball purists fans want to sit down and watch a 3 1/2 hour game.  Playoff baseball feels like it takes even longer.  Give batters a time limit to be BSin in the batters box.  Do the same with the pitchers. 

8. NFL overtime rules.  First one to score takes the skill out of OT, because the team that wins the coin flip wins the game 87% of the time.  Doesn't sound like any skill is necessary.  It's not things not bouncing your way either so don't try to sell that bill of goods.  A tip drill interception?  Ok.  A bad center-quarterback exchanged fumbled?  Ok.  A coin flip?  No sir.  That has nothing to do with the players.  That's a zebra flipping a Kennedy half dollar into the air.  Stank-0 loves the NFL but college football got you on this one.  Both teams get a chance to touch the ball. 

9. NBA superstar calls.  It irks Stank-0 to no end to see LeBron and Kobe getting touch fouls consistently through the regular season (and playoffs.)  It just feeds the NBA conspiracy theorists.  If these guys are true superstars, then let them play under normal mortal rules.  Why protect them? 

10. NFL excessive celebration penalty.  Why take away what most people tune into the game for.  You want to see what Ocho Cinco will do after he scores.  The football resuscitation was brilliant.  As was the riverdance.  TO's standing on the star. Twice.  Johnny Morton's worm.  Steve Smith's snow angel.  The TD celebrations are generally the lead-in for highlight shows.  It's what the people want.  Limit the celebrations to 30 seconds and let's call it a day. 

Only 10, maybe there will be a part II.  Thoughts?  Agree?  Disagree?  Other admissions?  Should something not be there? 


[1] Trademarked by Ed the Sports Fan patent pending.  Stank-0 don't bite without giving credit. 

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4 comments:

On June 5, 2009 at 7:18 PM , Sunflower Ranch said...

Baseball on TV isn't too bad if you've got the remote or a lot of work around the house to do. If your team makes a good play, they'll show it at least 3 times. I'd say limit the darn commercials and run the game on baseball time NOT TV time and most games would be over at least a half an hour faster! And, yes, I've got my baseball team and I'm stickin' with them win OR lose, which they have been known to do a LOT of the last few years. [Seattle Mariners.] Skip the all the pre-lims on any game and only watch from the first pitch or the kickoff or whatever. Skip tennis altogether. Too much grunting. Not dignified. ;)

 
On June 6, 2009 at 8:16 AM , Stankoniforous 0ne said...

@Sunflower Ranch,

I appreciate the comment. I can't sit through baseball in any way, shape, or form.

I would skip the pre-lims if they would tell me exactly what time the game starts.

Only Grand Slam tennis is fun to watch. I can't with the loud repeated grunts.

 
On June 12, 2009 at 10:54 PM , Ed The Sports Fan said...

Dude this is on point, preach brother preach.

-Ed.

 
On June 12, 2009 at 10:55 PM , Ed The Sports Fan said...

dope post my dude, preachin to the choir.

-Ed.

 
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