The Stankoniforous Files

You know, I been thinkin about a certain Houshmanzadeh lately. He jumped shipped and moved back West in search of mo cake and a change of scenery.

I hope that money is making you feel better because you won't get many wins, b. The C-Hawks are turrible (No Barkley) and show no signs of getting better. They are just slightly better than bad.

It's time to give this phenomenon a term, let's call it Kemp-itis. You remember Reignman right? Was the 48-inch vertical leaping forward for the SuperSonics, played with the Glove, and went to the Finals. What does he do? Go to Cleveland (pre-LeBron) for more money and promptly becomes a forgotten man. This is what I worry about happening to Housh.

Imagine being Housh, everytime you turn on the TV. What do you see but the Bengals are doing better without YOU? Ain't that a b***h! Maybe Ocho Cinco never needed you but you needed Ocho Cinco. Even rejected former Bears first round pick Cedric Benson is playing like he's one year away from a prison bid and this is his only way to freedom. Benson works so hard we might want to start calling him Kunta. The D is tightening up like a fat man in a small suit. ALL THIS WITHOUT YOU! That's worth a call to your 24-hour, always-on-call shrink right there. Not even a new Bentley (sittin on Tim Duncans!)[1] could make that feeling go away.

It's really Housh's fault. You chose Matt Hassleback over Carson Palmer? You must get some of that good smoke up there to leave a proven QB like Palmer.

Just say you wanted to be near your family and we'll buy that.

[1] Name the artist.